What I Learnt in 2021

I was sat in Costa munching on a pigs-in-blanket sandwich and wondered how they came up with a beautiful concoction when I thought about how writing would help me get some clarity. But before I get all sentimental... Costa, you were doing it right!

2020 was very much sh*t for all of us and everyone was looking forward to 2021. It was great to know that Christmas happened and we got to see our family and friends over the festive period. I certainly looked forward to all the events my Mum had planned, but I wasn't looking forward to wearing a Christmas tree dress on Boxing Day...

2021 was a learning curve for me, and if you're like me, you're looking at the past year as a year of reflection. I'm reflecting on my actions and the choices I've made the past year, and although I had a festive mocha going down my throat as a treat, I felt slightly emotional. If you know me, you probably already know that I'm a lot better with my words when writing them (in this case, typing them). So, I'm doing just that. I don't know if I'm actually going to post this, but if I do, here's what I learnt in 2021.

Never take the outside for granted

Lockdown was a struggle for many and I realised then that I took the outside for granted. Being cooped up in a house made me yearn for social interaction and made me remember all those times I made excuses so I didn't have to go outside. I'm a homebody, you see, but 2021 taught me how great it was to go out, make new friends and interact with other human beings.

In other words, I realised how outgoing and extroverted I can be, and it was a great feeling. I found myself complimenting others and just making small talk. A simple "I like your nails" was enough to make someone smile. It felt nice to breathe in the fresh air, go for a coffee with a friend and go shopping (which then turns into window shopping because you ultimately realise that you're broke).

Going into 2022, I want to make more plans, reconnect with old friends, visit all the libraries in Kent and go on a nice drive somewhere, anywhere... I don't want to waste anymore time being cooped up since life is short and I'm not getting any younger (sadly).

It will always be me, myself and I

Just like with every year that has come before us, we get losses and wins. And with every loss, you realise that, although you'll always have your family and friends by your side, it's just you in the end. You're stuck with yourself, your body, your thoughts, your feelings. All you.

Because the harsh truth is, friends, lovers and families can come and go. If they do, it will be you that needs to have your back and pick yourself up during your lowest points. You can't rely on other people to do that for you. As much as I'm bad at advice, I've had to face this truth when 2021 was drawing to a close. And although I don't want to be alone with my thoughts sometimes, I've managed to get some courage to face them because running away from your thoughts and feelings is never the answer. True healing happens when you let yourself feel all the feels and pick the pieces up. But remember, it has to be you that does that, no matter how many glass shards might injure you along the way.

Since you have a lifelong commitment with yourself, make sure you fill it with positivity. Say kinder words to yourself, tell everyone about your talents, show everyone your worth, do what makes you excited and happy. It's a miserable life to live if you thrive on hateful things. This won't happen overnight, though, so make sure you're also being patient with yourself.

I am stronger than I think

This is still something I'm learning because it's hard to convince yourself that you're strong when you feel like filling a well with your tears. When you're feeling so low, and maybe even depressed, it's hard to be strong.

But these are the words I said to myself before 2021 ended: "If I got through it before, I can do so again and I'll come back stronger." Although it may sound cliche, it really is true. Think about a time in your life when you thought there was no return... Did it get the best of you? Did it ruin you completely? If it did, you wouldn't be here now and that's something important to think about.

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This was literally something spontaneous and I didn't even think I was going to continue writing this, but a writer never leaves their craft unfinished... I say that, but there are so many drafts in my unpublished section *laughs in stutter*

The point is, these main 3 lessons for me have helped me gain a bit of stability in my life, and although there will be times where I break down, I know I'll be okay in the end.

Happy New Year to you all and I hope 2022 will be good to you! And unlike me, if you didn't start the year with COVID, then you partied safely... Wish me luck!

"The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain."

- Dolly Parton (you're the sh*t, Dolly, God bless you).